Happiness comes to those who...

wait, very patiently, for a very long time...

I have a very good reason for being super happy - I love my boys to bits but those close to me will know that I have always wanted a girl.  I didn't earn the nickname Lady Penelope by wearing jogging bottoms and a hoody, always a girly a girl deep down I have longed for the pink hole in my heart to be filled.

My husband would have another baby in an instant and I've never said never but it's definitely not the right time for me at the moment (although having turned 30 this year my body clock is ticking).  I have however wanted a dog ever since I got over the passing of my childhood companion Belle.  Belle was just amazing and I loved her so much.  There is nothing quite like the unconditional love of a dog, especially when you're a child.  She was bred on the Sandringham Estate with a hefty pedigree and the prestigious Drakeshead in her lineage.  However what do you do with a gunshy Labrador bred for working?  We believe she had her first home in the North of England living with a family with small children but the mother found it hard to cope with her so wanted to rehome her.  My Uncle came to hear about her needing a new home and thought of my parents as we had recently lost our Golden Retriever "Honey." 

Belle was 6 months old when my Uncle brought her to us.  She was impeccably housetrained but aswell as being gunshy she was afraid of loud bangs, fireworks, people with hats and the sound of rain hitting the house.  But she was loyal, intelligent, very loving and did a brilliant job of keeping my Mum & I company (along with barking at anything/anyone that came near the house) as my Father was often working away.  We always used to say she should have been a Golden Retriever because she acted so blonde.  She loved it when we got the hose/sprinkler out, she would go crazy and try to bite it whilst running in circles round the garden.  She would stand at the window when Dad was away waiting to greet him when he came back.  Best of all if ever I was upset, there was nothing she couldn't make go away with a doggy cuddle & I would nuzzle her head and stroke her silky ears. 

I've been asking my husband if we could have a dog for YEARS!  He never had the pleasure of having a pet when he was growing up so there was no way he could relate to what I was missing.  Well all my hard work has paid off & he finally agreed earlier this year.  I didn't wear him down until he said yes, he had to want it too otherwise he would just resent it & I needed him to be on board when it came to looking after it too.  After hours of searching on the internet we went to visit a few breeders, none of which suited us or carried out the health tests we needed them to.  We had just about given up hope of finding THE one when I came across an advert for a breeder in Suffolk.  The set-up was perfect, he wasn't pushy (& didn't want us to choose one at 1 week old) & very experienced.  He carried out all the required health tests & ticked all of our boxes.  Well when he showed us the puppies available one stood out from the rest - it was love at first sight.

I waited a very long time & I am one excited Mama.  I'm not the only one, hubby is very excited too - infact I've never seen him so pro-active & carrying out so much DIY in such a short space of time.  The boys can't wait either.

This is Beulah....my little pink princess comes home in 7 days & I can't wait.  It's going to be hard work but well worth it!

Beulah  at 6 weeks

Points mean Prizes!

After a pretty horrendous weekend dealing with my son's behaviour I put my thinking cap on.

We've introduced the traffic light system at home which they use in school.  The boys have been asking me to do it for a long time but I wasn't sure how to make it work.  After this week though I thought I would just have a go & wing it.  I printed the traffic lights off so they could take ownership of them & colour them in.  They have taken to it very quickly & really do not like their name being on red. 

Then we had the mother of all tantrums - I'm not sure what caused it other than being given warnings, consequences & not getting his own way.  One of my friends has started giving her son pocket money which I have been considering doing for a while.  Then I had an idea!......

The housepoint shop...

The boys have gone crazy over it so here's hoping it will work.  Housepoints are rewarded for various things, showing kindness, being helpful, doing little jobs (emptying the dishwashers cutlery basket) & good behaviour. 

10 points loosely equates to £1 so I went to Poundland & the charity shop & picked up a few things...

In the box....
20 - Usborne lift the flap book (charity shop)
20 - Veggie tales DVD (charity shop)
10 - Smurf magic painting book
10 - Olympics diecast car (two of them)
10 - whoopee cushion (youngest has his eye on that already)
10 - Star Wars Fighter Pod (eldest collects these)
3 - some naturally flavoured, low sugar sweets
3 - a Kinder Bueno

Fingers crossed! I'll let you know it goes :-)

Lego City

Having two boys & 3 Star Wars fans means there is a lot of Lego in this house.  We started with the mini figures, then the Star Wars Planets, then the Brickmasters...... I find it a bit disheartening that the boys are always asking me to build models for them when they just take it apart! Don't get me started on how much it hurts when you step on the stuff.  I had this idea to display my eldest's models on a shelf above his bunk bed - well out of the way of his little brother - but I was worried he would bang his head on it or end up with more bricks in his bed (he has been known to take models to bed & keep them "safe" under his pillow).  So when I saw a small typography type shelf I knew straight away what I was going to do...

Ta-da!  The lego shelf - now my son's precious mini-figures can take pride of place in his bedroom, he can swap the display round whenever he likes and his favourites are easy to find!  I can't wait to show him when he gets home from school.  If you'd like to order one just contact me.

The Road to Recovery

So I said I'd come back to blogging & then I didn't...well sometimes the road to recovery is like that...sorry!

Having found myself pretty near rock-bottom recently, I have pulled back from the brink of having a major wibble.  Why do I always say to myself this year is going to be big, this year will be better than last year?  Well so far this year has been pretty rubbish.  The post Christmas lull was made worse by snow, more snow, sick children, more snow, sick children & then inevitably a very run down sick me.  I've had an awful bug which felt like flu, with a large dose of nausea, & finally a cough so bad I kept throwing up.  Having spent a week in bed I had to look for the silver lining, in this case I seem to be a dress size smaller & my caffeine dependancy is zero.

Receently I've been studying Beauty Therapy at a fantastic private college in Norwich, the snow/illness combo has led to me becoming pretty behind with my studies.  I'm fortunate to have an amazing tutor & principal who have both supported me but when push came to shove I felt unable to carry on juggling my course with everything else & the pressure I put on myself about being behind with my work.  I'm having a rest so I can get better gradually, finish my studies later on in the year & I am so grateful to my principal for being so wonderful.  It's a bit of a lightbulb moment for me really as I can't recall ever having "stopped" myself from having a big wibble & although initially I was panicking & worrying about how I was going to possibly fit everything in & pass my exams, I can honestly say I feel no guilt in taking a break. 

Some might think why put off what you can do today - but they're missing the point.  My happiness is the cornerstone of our family - so if Mama needs to stop & take stock so be it.  In the meantime I get to spend some quality time with my boys & make the most of the next few months before my youngest starts school.  I can't believe our baby is going to be 4 in a few weeks! 

What's For Dinner - Guest Post

Today I have a recipe using my husband's culinary talents - enjoy!  He would welcome some feedback and you never know this could be the start of a new foodie blog!  

Daddy's Big Mushrooms

Serves 2

Ingredients:

Large Flat Mushrooms (1 per person)
Halloumi Cheese (chopped)
1 small clove of garlic
2 rashers bacon
1/2 Ciabatta
1 small onion (Finely sliced)
Tomato Puree
Tomato Ketchup
Thyme
Rosemary
Olive Oil
Balsamic Vinegar
Black Pepper
1 cooked beetroot (cubed)
Salad leaves

1.) Peel & core the flat mushrooms, place on a baking tray face down & drizzle with olive oil.  Place in a preheated oven at 200 deg C.

2.)  Put 2 rashers of bacon under the grill.  Whilst they are cooking chop 1/4 of a 225g packet of Halloumi cheese into small cubes.

3.) Finely slice the onion & chop 1 small clove of garlic. Keep separate.

4.) When the bacon is cooked to your liking remove from the grill & roughly chop.  Mix 1 tsp tomato puree & 1 tsp of tomato ketchup. 

5.) After the mushrooms have been in the oven for 10 minutes turn over and spread the tomato mixture into the centre of each mushroom. 

6.) Scatter chopped Halloumi, bacon & garlic on top of the mushrooms & top with Rosemary (or Thyme) & black pepper to taste.  Return to oven for another 8-10 minutes until the Halloumi starts to caramelise or goes golden on the edges. 

7.) Wash salad leaves, add finely sliced onion and cubed beetroot. Combine & arrange on plates. 

8.) 5 minutes before taking out the mushrooms, slice ciabatta in half and place in the oven (directly on the shelf).

9.) Remove mushrooms & ciabatta from the oven. Place the mushrooms on top of the ciabatta & drizzle with Balsamic Vinegar.  Drizzle salad with Extra Virgin olive Oil. Season to taste.

Return of the...

Apologies for the lack of posts since last Summer.  I've found myself in a rather peculiar situation, where for the first time in months I feel like blogging.  I've been much better depression-wise since the start of last Summer so I've been busy throwing myself into my college course.  The awful winter and lack of sunshine has however taken it's toll and I am now feeling depressed again yet wanting to blog. I feel almost cheated by this blip, but I knew it was coming, I felt it creeping up on me.  Writing, keeping a diary or journal has long been considered therapeutic but that is not why I am writing this post today, I just had a sudden compelling urge to write it down. 

So here goes...I shall try to post as much as possible in future.  I also need to get writing on my other blog but I'm finding wordpress harder to work with so I'm going to have a think over the next few days & possibly transfer it to Blogger.

For now I'll leave you with a picture of my new wellies - can't wait to try them out on the allotment!

Sainsbury's £18

I originally saw a pair on the Next website but I came across these in Sainsbury's & they had 25% off.  I do love a bargain!

Discharge

Ok so not the best title & not that kind of discharge but a positive one.

Today I discharged myself from the Homestart organisation.  If you don't know what they do they provide support for families with children under 5 yrs of age.  They provide each family with a volunteer who visits regularly to give the parents a break or provide them with practical help.  They do a fantastic job and for a time knowing that a friendly impartial face would be round to give me a hand helped support me with my depression. 

I've had 3 volunteers & the most recent one deemed me a "good enough" mother, so much so that it wasn't obvious why I needed their support in the first place. I was a bit shocked by this but maybe it's because as a mother I place a huge amount of guilt on myself.  For example, if I have a guest in my home I think it appropriate to have a tidy before they come round, make them a drink & have a chat rather than hand the kids over & go off to do something for myself.  The thing with depression is you hide it - a lot, you don't want to be a burden & you think if you talk to people about it they will pity you, avoid you or think you're a moaning minnie (yes that is a technical term).  So maybe that's why they didn't think I needed them.   

Apparently I demand a lot of myself & have high standards - I fail to see what's wrong with that.  I also have days where I can't get out of bed - literally cannot.  As my darling husband says if I had a broken leg it would be easier for people to see that I'm ill & have a medical condition.  But apart from becoming a bit of a recluse sometimes I don't think it's obvious that I've got depression.  So I'm still a bit confused about the whole discharge thing but basically I decided that I need to get better on my own terms not how well I appear to other people. It might be the sunshine which is making me feel a bit more positive but you know what...I think I can do it - I know I can do it!  Not on my own but with my husband, family & close friends. 

I've been on anti-depressants since DS1 was 9 mths old (apart from when I was pregnant with DS2) & have been upped due to a change in prescription which wasn't as strong as the last.  I'm doing a Wellbeing course about stress for Brownie points from the GP & to see if I can learn anything new. I WANT to get better so will try almost anything.  I'm also starting to make time for myself without beating myself up about it.  So all in all feeling fairly positive & looking forward to the future - there has been a higher quantity of good days lately & it feels great :-)




Disclaimer: Don't for one minute let this put you off contacting Homestart or think I'm criticising them. This is my blog & I'm entitled to my have my opinions & feelings & express them!